Forever Broken

The seed breaks to gives us the wheat. The soil breaks to give us the crop, The sky breaks to give us the rain, The wheat breaks to give us the bread. And the bread breaks to give us the feast. There was once even an alabaster jar that broke to give Him all the glory…. Never be afraid of being a broken thing. -Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way

This is what dear friends told me they were reading and suggested to me. After a season of darkness and brokenness I’ve felt like it may be coming around again; for round 3. It’s getting old, having to relive and remember old wounds or bad emotions/memories and release it to Jesus. It’s making me feel more useless and immature. How is it that years ago I felt more in charge and a decent christian than now. Have I really undone that much growth in 2 years?

I haven’t read this book yet, but I’ve heard great things of her other books. I did get a chance to read a chapter and was a bit confused to her writing style. However I have a feeling it should help me.

Ever watch the movie “The Prestige”? SPOILER ALERT
Toward the end of the movie it is revealed that Robert Angier cloned himself and immediately killed himself in order to keep up his trick and popularity going. In the end his mentor Cutter tells him dying is hell, and only told him otherwise to comfort him while grieving his girlfriend who died while performing a magic trick. The camera pans to all the times he died, realizing how difficult this process is. (Its a great movie and way better than I can describe it)

In the bible, I think Paul writes it the most “to live is Christ and to die is gain”, or in Mark “who ever loses their life for my sake will save it.” -Jesus

Dying isn’t easy in any sense, ending addictions, giving up anything isn’t easy. Time, money, you name it its rough. I think its written so many times in the bible because it must be done continuously, our human nature is to default to what is easiest. Jesus taught about money the most beside heaven and hell because he knows what make people tick, or how passionately glued we are to our money.

Dying or being broken for Christ sake will never be easy. Maybe when we start to appear or become like our old self it’s time to be broken again. Yet new, closer to Holiness or pure each time it happens.

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