Daddy Dearest

Dear Dad, I’ve never in my 30 years been mad or upset at you, not ever. At the most I felt sad that you had to deal with mom, or was caught by her web of lies and deceit. I’ve even praised you for your selflessness in letting go of your grip of me as a child to give me a chance to grow up in a normal, stable family. How hard that must have been for you, little did I know your love and ability of running ran deeper than physical, emotional too.

I was actually very happy to see you 19 years ago, with your new family. Your wife at the time was very accepting and loving toward me. Clearly she had such a giving spirit and maybe for that reason she attempted to keep in contact with me after the visit, wish I just noticed how I was talking to her more than you. That should have tipped me off.

It truly saddens me how much our culture or blood lines are connected to alcoholism, addiction and abuse of all kinds. Sure isn’t something people are interest in hearing, not the TeePees or Powwows stories they have in their heads. The truth hurts; something I’ve learned to forgive and let go.

The fact that you have decided to ‘forget’ about your visit 19yrs ago or the children you’ve had since then I am no longer interested in continuing our tight relationship.

I Love you Henry, that I can say honestly. But you were never my true father anyway… you see a true father never leaves, he loves unconditionally, he sacrifices for his kids, he is selfless not selfish. I hope one day you get to know my true Father; he’s like no other and has loved me before day one. So, no hard feelings, they just are not worth it anymore.

Love Karlene

 

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