To Ban or to Band together

Ever since I heard about the Immigration Ban our President has put into place Ive been undecided, uninformed and conflicted. As a follower of Christ I cannot deny what Jesus said in Matthew 25:35-46

Matthew 5:3-12 Kept popping up in my mind like pop-up ad all day. Where Jesus is teaching on the mountainside and the disciples come up to him. The two verse that come to mind are the ones that say “for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven”

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,[b]
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

American christianity is nothing compared to the other countries of our world, where you are killed and/or beaten for believing in Christ. Here in America you will be ostracized from social media, family or your workplace.

Missionaries are the real deal that go out and submerse themselves in other cultures and teach brothers and sisters about the goodness, mercy and salvation of Christ, It breaks my heart knowing that they too are in great danger all the time. Yet!!! The Kingdom of Heaven is theirs, Stephen while he was beaten got to see Jesus standing at the right hand of God, I hope to one day be so relentless obeying God to not care what the terrorist, and yes thats who was beating him, do to me. That is pure and holy, it was enough for Jesus to stand for stephen as he came into his presence that day.

The other side of me is filled not with fear, but honor and willingness to defend my country. A country that let’s face it, invaded my peoples land. Navajo and sioux people, and many other tribes of Native Americans. Many(people and tribes) died for simply  attempting to live on their own land and take care of their own.

It will never be wrong to stand and protect a land that was given to you. I want to protect and keep the Pipeline out of the Dakotas, I have land there, those are my people that I want to protect and keep safe. I want America to know and fight to keep her and her people safe. And yes, I understand I cannot control what happens anymore than you can. Nor can our President.

But if we can Band Together maybe we will hear the voice of our Father in Heaven and will not be afraid, and obey his words we will be one.



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When the World isn’t enough

Change is coming, I can feel it. So many thoughts and memories of last year now two years ago popped in my head today. All the visions and visuals God showed me of myself to help me understand. A guide, a storybook, just for me. Tears ran down my face again to know that He loved me at my worst. Showed me when I didn’t understand. Held my hand when I walked alone and away from community and thought my world that I once knew was gone.

That’s a Father, Faithful. I can’t count how many times I was a brat and replied to my human dad in such a hateful tone. Wishing now I never had, or could take them all back. I was a child, in a mood. It just happens. Never once, I pray, he questioned my love for him. I pray God never questions my love for him, even when I swat his hand away.

He is there, when I am devastated. I just have to remember to open the door. And let him sit with me, in all the mess thats scattered around me. Our world will never be satisfied with us; and we will never be satisfied with the world. Jesus will always be enough.

When First Aid isn’t Enough

So sorry for not keeping this up, December was a blur, a blur of sickness. Not even midway through the month I got sick with a double ear infection. The medicine I received was double the dose I have gotten before, so the side effects hit me extra hard. The insomnia, nausea and stomach issues decided to make their presence known and not leave till the new year.

After the New Year My Family and I had an opportunity to go to Orlando for a mini vacation. The last night there it started, diarrhea, throwing up, chills, aching etc. Knocked down again by my weak immune system.

Thank the Lord we made it back home, long car rides ain’t my thing to begin with much less being sick on top of that. This certain day the south was predicted to get snow, instead we got freezing rain.

I have a Dr. appt. today, still unsure whether I should go or not. I’m definitely in recovery mode. Just don’t want to get anyone else sick just in case.

Book and Key

I will give him the key to the house of David—the highest position in the royal court. When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them. Isaiah 22:22

Im not sure but Im starting to get the feeling that It took 29 years to get over and heal from Mother Issues for a reason, as if to be given my voice back for others.

Not just as a Daughter but for Adopted Kids, Foster Kids, Adoptive Parents, and Foster Parents. For People of the Sioux and Navajo Nation, a People I wasn’t ready to communicate with because it brought back too much emotional hurt and pain. Those emotions no longer exist and cannot be found.

Ive started writing a book, what about? why? Me, from the very beginning, till now. Not because I feel Im so important but to help awareness of Adoption/Foster care, Parents that are not equip to parent, the emotional toll it makes on a child and most vital what the God above can guide and provide when two people have nothing to offer but Love and Faith in Him.

What could come from this? I could do something, more, other than Pray for the Sioux People, provide in some way. I could be Given the Key, to set Captives free. Free from the horribleness that many go thru when you have a rough childhood, Counseling is okay, Its Ok to be not Ok. Its something I feel I can’t accomplish by myself; But I can as long as Jesus is by my side.


“You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”

This verse had been following me for a couple weeks now, which Ive had a strong dislike to it, I like being in the know, and Knowing what is to be expected, in daily life, pretty much everything.

As you all know last year certainly wasn’t going to be filed in my greatest hits album. I felt so alone, and wanted to understand more than anything the why I was going through what I was, the Rejection, Hurt, Confusion, Anxiety, Depression. None of it made sense to me.

I went to Counseling, was open, talked about everything that was an issue, and it did help immensely, but would only continue to heal as time went on, in the last couple months God has showed me memories I had to remind me he was answering what I would pray for. He allowed even more healing to happen with my Mother issue/wound in order to open another door to see and reconnect with my sister. More things from last year are becoming more clear, I was doing the correct thing in the decisions I was making, I was being Obedient.

My someday has come. Grace and compassion has poured into my heart to make peace with so anythings. And they couldn’t have existed with out Jesus in my life.

Ay-kah’-tah (little sister)

“Deep breath in, and out”

I had to tell myself while walking thru the unfamiliar airport terminal, I couldn’t actually believe I had made it, the easiest Non-revenue flight I had been on in awhile, after staying with my best friend and had some over due Best-friend time I was undecided on leaving her, I wanted to stay but I knew myself better. If I don’t go now I may never go.

Nervousness still isn’t the right emotion I was feeling, still I couldn’t place my finger on it either. Anxious maybe? Unsure how this visit/weekend would go. No matter if it went great or horrible I still had peeps near me to bail to and stuff to do.

Our first meeting since the mid nineties, since our mom had died, since we played barbies for the last time. She picked me up and she looks so much like mom, even same laugh. Ironically, Im positive she was thinking the same of me.

She confessed she didn’t know what to say, and was nervous, maybe that is what I had been feeling. Who knows. We picked up her Dad, my former step-dad, it was good to see him, and I finally had the opportunity to say Thank You, for everything.

To Be Continued